Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Man: "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"

Doc: "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

Man: "Is it common?"

Doc: "It's not unusual."

Two cows were standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.